Sunday, December 11, 2005

Noses and mouth, Bakhtin tells us, dominated the medieval popular image of the body, whereas in modern times expressive features like the eyes dominate…

Never mind where I’m quoting from, suffice to say it’s from some erudite essay which ain’t making any sense to me, bleary eyed as I am after having stared at the computer through most of the day in a desperate attempt to study for bally exams-scheduled-to-screw-up-my-christmas-week.
Anyone who’s interested in how much I actually did manage to study, let’s see, what would be the best way to phrase this…let's just say…NOTHING! ! !
Nothing in the 15 hours I’ve been awake and sitting in front of this screen.
*yes dammit I woke up after noon, so sue me!*
**I was just following the corny advice to be found on the back of a particular brand of matchbox (for 50 paise, they give you 50 matchsticks and a proverb/joke/wise-crack-you-never-wanted-to-hear-in-the-first-place) and this particular pearl of wisdom read “If you do something you’ll regret the next morning, sleep till noon.”**

Yanyway, the point of this post is not that I’ve been up doing things at night which make me marginally unwilling to face the morning light; yes, I know people are fainting of curiosity out there and probably itching to slay me for being cryptic but I’m not going to elucidate. The point I wanted to make is closely tied up to the seemingly innocuous fragment I quoted right at the beginning. This would therefore be a good time to scroll up and refresh your memory.
*Incidentally if you don’t know who Bakhtin is, don’t bother to google for it, there are enough people out there (me for one) whose heads have been screwed up by reading things like Carnivalesque Traditions in Comedy, I really don’t want more bloggers succumbing to the curse of pseudo-intellectualis-bonbonitis.*

hmm…so apart from the fact that I have not been studying…aargh, shudder, ami phail korbo!!! what did I want to talk about? Oh yes. Eyes.

Well. Let’s face it. I am not quite reigning-beauty-queen material. In school I used to be this stick-like wiafish figure (and this was when I’d have killed for some curves). And when I hit the age when thin is in…..*sigh*
Somewhere in the not-too-distant-past someone mentioned epic proportions as being more suitable than my usually modest description of myself as a leetle plump.
*deep sigh*
**turns to mirror to realize mirror has already cracked in anticipation of this moment.**

Not that any of this matters of course. I can deal with the groaning weight machines. I can deal with friends who remind me that it’s not just the colour of my clothes that enhances my similarity to a blue whale.
*deep breath..slowly exhale*

Right. There’s just one thing I have always liked about myself and this is where modesty can go for a walk. I like my eyes. They’re not huge or beautifully shaped. They don’t look that good in photographs and they’re not even a sexy interesting colour. They’re plain black. Or probably darkest brown. But having got the necessary clarifications over lets just say if you don’t like my eyes, I don’t really care but I love them.

And then today this random female accosted me and said "Why are you looking so bland, dahling. Your eyes are all small and droopy."

And I realized, damn, I’ve just lost my one and only charm.
Cassy, I’m all sympathy on this one.

Addendum : I’m growing quite fond of this small print thingy, and this is the little disclaimer…at least this would have been the disclaimer if I could figure out what to disclaim.
O what the heck, my gentle reader, you know I’m attractive, charming, young and beautiful.*ahem*
So yeah this post really isn’t me fishing for compliments. It’s just the outcome of too much not-studying, a really screwed up brain and the recollection that I have juniors who call me an old hag.
*slowly exhaling breath*
**I’m twenty-two!! If it’s old hag now what on earth will they call me when I’m forty?**
low muted scream.
Now you know why I’m not studying. Cos I’m writing insane blog posts about my inane insecurities.

36 Comments:

Blogger Deepali said...

Well, in my groups of friends, I am the youngest @ 20 yrs [and 2 months, not that u needed to know but still] and YET I am the Aunty :(

And I don't even nag. Or give moral science lessons.

*walks away dejectedly*

8:38 AM  
Blogger Teleute said...

ei! ei! ei! i love your eyes! tell the random female to take a hike.

11:44 AM  
Anonymous ibboss said...

speaking of looks through school, the negative of the ponytail you had for a while seriously undermined the positive of the eyes and face, but you became smoking hot the instant you got that hair-cut. Weirdly enough, I was doodling in my notebook at Shubhrashish once(as usual), and the subject happened to be a woman with short hair, large eyes, glasses and sharp features and Adi, looking over my shoulder, asked me if that meant I knew the girl who had attended that Biotech thing. You remember? Tom "Backyard", free Frooti, and a few other schools are the only scattered things I can remember about it since I wasn't there. Hiya, you and Shruti were there, as was Adityo. It wasn't meant to be a picture of you, but apparently sharp, doe-eyed girl from MHS equalled you. You charmer you.

12:00 PM  
Blogger Srin said...

I LOVE your eyes, they're beautiful, egyptian eyes.

1:29 PM  
Blogger Acroyali said...

hmm... u need a break urgently. take care, don't let the exams get to u so much.

3:08 PM  
Blogger Soumik said...

and yes, you do have beautiful eyes.

i guess the post is succeeding in its purpose ;)

but, seriously.

8:12 PM  
Blogger the Monk said...

random females say random things...ignore them...

9:55 PM  
Blogger Unjustified Insanity~~ said...

well when one starts calling people bachha the term "old hag" is fitting i suppose.
(not that i mind being called bachha but that's the general impression it gives :P)

and about the weight thingy...do you wish that i link the picture of you in the 2nd blogmeet ???

10:00 PM  
Blogger panu said...

"O what the heck, my gentle reader, you know I’m attractive, charming, young and beautiful.*ahem*
So yeah this post really isn’t me fishing for compliments. It’s just the outcome of too much not-studying, a really screwed up brain and the recollection that I have juniors who call me an old hag."

Oh Babs, i have got something for u in my blog(and I cant publish it here or in Blabberwocky, so come on over to my blog once...)

aibappsss.blogspot.com

and i know its not a good time of the year, but well, what the heck... (sings in the husky contralto voice that has charmed millions) "You are beautifooool, no matter what they sayyyyy.../ Words cant bring youu dooowwwnn!!!"

I think you are suitably serenaded, and I think this bout of eye-cry is coming due to 15 hours in front of your cyber-portal. I suggest 2 pieces of cucumber (on your eyes or in your stomach) can cure it.

*And seriously wonders if Babelfish has been studying The Anatomy of Melancholy to get this effect*

STOP WORRYING ABOUT PHAILING YOU LITTLE FAKER!! I KNOW you have got it under control... Best of Luck .. though I know you have your christmas ruined, but think, just think of the 15-20 day vacation that'll follow...

Sincerely,

PANU.

P.S. I like the eyes. they're honest... and looks with the kaajal on like the ones on those old aatchaalar DUGGAthakur.

11:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

maybe you can cut down on the kaajal, gives you a slightly raccoonish look.

11:23 PM  
Blogger Dreamcatcher said...

woman you are in no way plump. and you have gorgeously, mysteriously seductive inky black eyes.
whoever said any diff. tell them to buzz off:)

11:44 PM  
Blogger herenow said...

dekho..your eyes are the most atrractive things on ur face..i mean that really and pllleeeeaaaaaaase do do ignore what 'old man'(he might kill me for it heeeheee) thinks..i mean that old hag thingie!
hugs*

11:45 PM  
Blogger Tiny Black Cat said...

hiiiiiiiii melodrama queen!!! tumi pseudo-intellectualis-bonbonitis theke bhugchho? how sad!
and which particular brand of matchbox be you talking of? amar kono-tay to oshob gyan-tyan dewar attempt nei...(?)

*smiles nervously and taratari escapes before anyone starts crooning christina aguilera songs to her*

2:48 AM  
Blogger Sphinx said...

vanity is my greatest sin.. lol... no but seriously why should some1 come n tell you that... thats just weird... i would've understood if it was a guy who is using that as an excuse to look at your eyes a bit more but a woman? thats a bit weird... lesbian intentions from the woman's part maybe? or maybe too much studying on yours... the mysteries of this universe...

12:49 PM  
Blogger the One said...

>>Somewhere in the not-too-distant-past someone mentioned epic proportions as being more suitable than my usually modest description of myself as a leetle plump.

Who was that? One bheel keel heem* ..


*Note how one seems to be picking up the lingo. Wingo, even.

1:34 AM  
Blogger Pip Squeak said...

So now i know why you Jadavpur Chicks aren't posting often..... You ARE studying.

And don't give plump figures a second thought. at least you aren't fat.( not that i should know really)

When the inferiority complex seeps in like red hot iron on your tender skin, remind yourself a few details which you have ignored owing the current societal 'curvy' complex. Plump shouldn't hold back any decent guy. The fact that he still likes you shows that he can go beyond physical features. And you shouldn;'t be that worried about thta either... I know most guys don't care how ugly you look like as long as you have a killer body, but if you're trying to attract insensitive fools like that, best of luck.

And eyes are certainly a very major factor for SENSITIVE people. I for one, have liked two girls previously, and both had killer eyes. And both of them were plump.

8:23 AM  
Blogger Jay said...

I keep telling everyone that my eyebrows are my best features, but for some reason nobody agrees.

I prefer to think that this is because they all feel I've got far better attributes located elsewhere on my amazing body.

-nods-

9:47 AM  
Blogger babelfish said...

dee : aww don't feel dejected dearie...you shall be the baby of the blogsphere if you like :D

teleute : ei ei thank you!!

ibboss : I shall ignore all the implied sarcasm that no doubt accompanies use of words like "charmer" *what you be thinking na...I be not charming snakes for a living!!* and "smoking hot" *plis to be noting I have almost quit the smoking*
But yeah I remember the whole Biotech thingy *half-dimples at memory*. And reading your comment reminded me *again* how much I miss miss miss you.
Oy! Kolkatay ay na, onek din kotha hoi ni, I will pine away soon.
You best buddy you.

srin : Let me finish blushing first...*ahem*
Thank you. You be the sweetest.

acroyali : *sigh* urgent break nowhere in sight but thanks for all the concern..so swit he is :D

soumik : *wicked grin* yes yes post be the success-es!!
but, seriously...thank you :)

monk : nice advice, this I will *not* ignore :D

ui : shhhh..
*looks desperately hither and thither, then continues in conspiratorial tone*
You're such a sweet little bachha *why* would you even think of such things?
*turns on charming smile*
**low mutter..he said "old hag" is fitting...hmph**

4:07 PM  
Blogger babelfish said...

panu : erm...uh...thank you(?!)
*twiddles thumbs, much embarrassed by complimentary serenading*
I've visited your blog but the linking will have to wait for after exams...right now I can't take the trauma of html and templates on top of exams :D

anonymous : maybe you could leave a name and it would give you less of a chickenish look *or should that be ostrich-ish*
Nice to see anonymous and make-up advice much appreciated :D

dreamcatcher : erm.. *blush* thank you *my ears are a deep red already*

herenow : aww.. Thank you!! *hug*

mandy : it's a brand called AIM, they have the corniest one-liners ever!! Kono din dekha hole I'll try and show you and if I promise not to croon songs at you you will come back na :D

sphinx : my dear boy, where do you find lesbian intentions in someone saying my eyes are *not* nice? Women can come up with better pick-up lines you know, lol! But yeah, the universe is mysterious..so long and thanks for all the fish :D

one : aww!! No doubt the one who said those words bheel "keel" over by himself now that one has threatened to keel him.
*flutter eyelashes, charming smile on full wattage*
And one's linguistic *or should that be lingo-istic* abilities have been noted with interest :D

pippy : we are actually *not* studying but that's as good an excuse for not posting :D And dahling sensitivity was the key note of your comment.
But congratulations by the way, I hear you're now an award winning squeaker. Well done and all :D

jay : I can't comment on the eyebrows, seeing how your picture shows nothing of your facial hair but I'm tempted to agree that your best attribute may well lie below *ahem* your eyebrows..way below dahling :D

4:43 PM  
Blogger Unjustified Insanity~~ said...

"You're such a sweet little bachha *why* would you even think of such things?"

does this mean i get a treat :P ??

11:56 PM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

are you fishing for compliments or what? Can't say much about your eyes unless you have a photo alongside your post dear ( a la rimi). But from what the others are saying I'm sure you definitely have no reason for such insecurities. And I think you'd better get back to your books and get done with it.

2:50 AM  
Blogger Sphinx said...

na na, you misunderstand me, i'd wonder why a girl had to look into your eyes to begin with... And yet we entertain ourselves with these petty nonsense just to delude ourselves that we are but a tiny winy little speck in this universe...

12:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if you think thin is in think again. its the age of blatant show. this is what i am and im gonna wear it visibly - tyres, folds, love handles, chins, etc. so ur safe.

9:23 AM  
Blogger J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Khuki, eta kintu nyakamo holo. So totally Izaak Walton.

As for feeling jaded at 22 (22! Egad!), I have been a Kaku or even a Dadu since I was 26. Wait for it ...

J.A.P.

2:08 PM  
Anonymous vAgue said...

ohhh-kayyy....
tell you what- get a camera and so some stunning arty self portraits. then we will be able to hudge for ourselves.
and- um, 22? 22? please dont talk of youth gone by while it still clings to you!

3:20 PM  
Blogger GREATBONG said...

Reminds me on Anu Malik's great song---"Eyes".

This thin is in thing I dont understand (and I am not saying this because I am not thin)----this waifish kate moss ideal of beauty just doesnt do it for me....

1:37 AM  
Anonymous wysiwysiwig said...

hag? well, i think u should keep a photo in your blog, just so we can judge, you see.

1:39 AM  
Blogger Deepali said...

" baby of blogosphere...."

*flutters eyelashes in shy embarrassment* So this means.... I can get away with *anything* right :D :D :D *must think of something badmaash to do*

And thanks be to you for the very flattering comment on my blog. [no really I didn't link to your blog *only* coz of that. It's coz u're called babelfish, which is such a wicked concept for me :D and other such reasons =D]

And I am guessing you guys still have your exams on so special message for you miserable exam-burdened people: I'm done in exactly 11 hours :D woohoo!

*ducks away from chappals/blahniks/nikes*

7:49 AM  
Blogger Ron said...

You have exams during the Christmas week!!!!??? What kind of wretched sadistic maniacs run your university?? You poor poor thing. *hugs*
All the best for your exams.

11:43 AM  
Blogger Ron said...

As for the thin thing...yeah...totally unfair and awful. you should see this girl at my gym....skinny little thing. And she has the audacity to look at herself in the mirror and pinch 0.5 mm of imaginary fat on her tummy and go on about how she desperately needs to do 100 extra crunches to lose it. Standing right next to rather well padded me!! What cheek !!! Took a lot of self control on my part not to smack her silly skinny little face I tell you!

11:47 AM  
Blogger babelfish said...

ui : treat no but you might get a halloweenish trick, given my present grouchy state :D

m : actually hehehh, *embarrassed look*, you got it right in the first sentence...I was just trying to living up to my name as fish of all times :D

anon : you be knowing a lot about tyres, folds, love handles, chins it seems :D

jap : complete angler I may be, but *ahem* I am providing contemplative men with recreation no? And just for calling me khuki I will dimple wildly at you. But then again, given your stated dislike for fluttering fans maybe I should just be all staidly and respectfully liking you muchly :D

vague : yay! Youth clinging to me sounds so good, also decidedly suggestive, *though I'm assuming you didn't qute intend that* :D

great bong : oh chief I bow to you! Finally someone who realizes that bones sticking out cannot be the height of perfection :D

wysiwysiwig : have I got the name right? Pictures are not a good idea ahem, yeah you see, I'm best described as mirror cracking material so let's keep the camera lens safe :D
Nice to see you though, do keep visiting :)

deedee : you realize it's your youth and babydom which is keeping you from severe physical injury, you gloater you! Also I'm the ultimate procrastinator but my excuse for the moment is *exams are keeping me from updating my links* :D

ron : *hug*...you utterly wonderful person you...what a great deal of self control you be having, in your place I would have given her 100 punches right there!

9:37 PM  
Blogger Deepali said...

Procrastination isn't so bad. Most of my blog entries were written during "breaks" [never mind that i had to begin studying to take a break ]

And hey! WE didn't have ONE month off for navratri+diwali so I think this early break and the travel plans that follow are fair =D

3:20 AM  
Blogger hdpal said...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

11:09 AM  
Blogger babelfish said...

dee : procrastination raawks!! and yeah, you don't get diwali hols we don't get a month for xmas, it all boils down to the same thing, ideally they should just give us a month for both!!

hdpal : if I weren't so dashedly modest I'd tell you how beautiful those who have beheld me find me to be :D
then again there's the minor irritation of people who have actually seen me telling you the mirror-cracking reality :D

11:52 AM  
Blogger Deepali said...

hey I don't get a month for xmas! I get 2 weeks-only because my eggjam schedule was good this time and killed me with back to back exams so I was done earlier!

I want MORE chutti !!!!! MORE!

10:45 PM  
Blogger babelfish said...

dee : hoeny, we ALL want more chhuti!

2:30 PM  

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