Wednesday, November 23, 2005

I'm a star.
*flutter flutter....eyelashes batting at double speed while one hand is delicately raised before a mouth left delicately half-open in wondrous amazement.*
Oh, somebody get me the smelling salts before I wilt away and faint *fair imitation of Casabianca style heaving and moaning*
And while you're at it, get the darned mirror, cos I'm afraid my make-up's running again, even smudge proof make-up not being entirely proof to helpless tears.

Right, make-up has been touched up, I am now decked out in my sparkliest shimmering clothes [namely my beootiful long skirt which has today been accused of being a) glittery and b) a shaya]

note : all ye ignorant of the layers of clothing concealing the modesty of a decorously sari-clad indian woman kindly note a shaya is what is referred to in english as a petticoat. this is where I blush and all modest-minded people faint because I've named (and in bold) an item of inner clothing, chheeee!!

Mock my fashion consciousness at your peril though, especially my once-beloved *extra stress on once, implying past tense* cassandra, for I am the newest star on the block.

Yes,yes, thank you thank you. *bows to the screaming multitudes*

And among all that applause ringing in my ears I thought I heard the faintest strains of *what is she going on about*.

I shall now cast scornful glances in the direction of all those who are ignorant of my fame and then, because I really cannot resist letting *everyone* know, I shall explain.

*ahem ahem*....I, ladies and gentlemen *half modest blush* have been featured as the star-special-central character of this *moderately brilliant* blogger's post.

Pray feel free to read it. Of course before you go dashing off in hordes may I issue a warning, this is not meant for those who are susceptible to heart-attacks (minor or not). Also not for those with any sort of pain in the region of your spine or ribs or wherever because this is seriously side-splittingly funny. If my facial muscles are aching right this moment it's not only because I have the slightly fatuous all-pearlies-on-display smile of the new centre of attention seeking starlet but because I've been laughing since i read the damn post, about six hours ago.
And once you're done reading please, please add this blogger to your link lists because she's one of the finer writers I've ever seen (I'm the soul of generosity you understand)

Of course some *ahem* clarifications seem to be required to protect the character of this fish :

1) The seventh cigarette mentioned was not my seventh cigarette *rainbeau you utter a word here and you will land up in the jheel* I of course have quit smoking. Quite.

2) The bit about my being a mathemagician seems uncalled for. Just because I was the only one in our batch of english honours students to take maths as my subsidiary subject and managed to pass it at one go *reportedly a next-to-impossible task for lesser mortals* I do not see any reason to bring it up. *Ahem*, I am of course not trying to bring my mathematical genius to the forefront here by repeatedly emphasizing the fact that I was called a mathemagician by Rainbeau, I'm just trying to tell my readers that I'm not quite a magician at math. I manage with the basics of 2+2=3 but that I'm sure *anyone* could do.

3) And as for stringing him a chain of flowers! *seriously indignant look* Rainbeau my dear, fond as I am of you, you must realize that I do not consider the stars to be God's own daisies chain and I wouldn't ever dream of stringing him a crown of flowers. Good grief girl, do I *look* like a love-besotted callow youth to you?! Me, flowers? Hah, what a joke! Please note, flowers are girly things. No go. I, for one, am well aware that a man of genius worthy of adoration, like the professor in question, could only be crowned with laurel, baize and oak leaves. And anyway green leaves would look far more resplendant on his noble brow. And green does look so good on him no. Did you notice the green shirt he was wearing yesterday....oh ma, he looked so amazing..erm...I wasn't gushing you understand, and I was not giggling right now!!

4) And finally the love me love me not section of the story is of course entirely a fabrication on Rainbeau's part. Not her fault, poor child, all languages sound greek to her. I might have muttered something like te amo, but that pray note is Latin !!

after-thought : I realize this particular post is screaming for attention a little louder than usual....hmm.....could it be that I too am influenced by the peeping tots of the world who perpetually squeak for attention....*horror* or could it be that I'm looking for some vitriolic attention as this ever-charming lady promises.
Then again maybe I'm just trying to grab the attention of this one knight in shining armour who might have been apprenticed to the guild of thieves, a thief of hearts if not of time.

17 Comments:

Blogger Rimi said...

oh my god. you called me the ever charming lady

oh, dear DEAR babel! *touches heart region delicately and swoons artistically*

10:15 PM  
Blogger rainbeau_peep said...

1} Satin shaya or Satine, slay-ah? Save the Agent Provocateur for night-time revelry, i suggest.
2}moderately brilliant?!?! It was a fitting tribute to your love! It was the stuff of a juicy mills&boon! Every pimply teenage girl will look up to u now and salute ur romance!!! There was wuthering heights, and then there were dithering sprites ... etc.
3} Finer writers?! i yum honoured with a heich, medame.
4}If you've quit smoking, then I'm Anna Nicole Smith.
5} If you can prove 2+2=3, then indeed my dear, u R a mathemagician. Q.E.D.
6}Flowers .. laurel wreath - minor details of prop. hardly important.
7}Latin, but of course, the other frightfully popular course offered by He-who-plays-gilli-danda-with-ur-gills.
:-D Kill me .. kill me not ...

10:30 PM  
Blogger Teleute said...

you star, you!

10:32 PM  
Blogger Tiny Black Cat said...

i'll refrain from saying anything and gape.

if such are the blisses of completing a term paper then give me one!

11:29 PM  
Blogger jaded said...

the loved one shud really read this!i wonder what'll be his reaction?!;-)

and this honey,"Did you notice the green shirt he was wearing yesterday....oh ma, he looked so amazing" was cho-chweet!i have a really bad pain in my jaw right now!

11:38 PM  
Blogger Unjustified Insanity~~ said...

"te amo"
wtf wasn't this Spanish ??? :P

and it seems that term papers have resulted in quite a number of magnificent posts :)

11:50 PM  
Blogger Sphinx said...

ti amo is also a song by Umberto Tozzi, Brillaint track, I'd recommend it to anyone and everyone. ti amo has also the same translation in italian.

to babel- :D :D u r the funny!

12:30 PM  
Blogger Ron said...

you know, im extremely tempted to visit JU next time im in cal and check out this man...the object of desire and the subject of such hilarious posts...does he live up to the reputation you and rainbeau have created for him?? i wonder :-)

and besides, i totally love grey haired older men...so hott ;-)

2:39 PM  
Blogger Rimi said...

go check.
with love.
:)

4:55 PM  
Blogger cass said...

ahem

9:34 PM  
Blogger Pip Squeak said...

" sari-clad indian woman kindly note a shaya is what is referred to in english as a petticoat. this is where I blush and all modest-minded people faint because I've named (and in bold) an item of inner clothing, chheeee!!"- no one's that victorian anymore....

"could it be that I too am influenced by the peeping tots of the world who perpetually squeak for attention....*horror*"- you certainly are except for two things- you got the spellings of pip and squeak wrong.... and nothing is an attention seeking plea on my part.
** Wistful sigh!**
Why does everyone come to conclusions based on their own mindset?

7:29 PM  
Blogger babelfish said...

rimi : and I have smelling salts at hand for the charming artiste :D

rainbeau : woman, I ran out of compliments hence the use of moderately, personally I think *you* could give any mills and boon author a run for their publishing contracts...and what with all the luuurbh I feel for you. I don't plan to kill you, yet *sinister smile* :D

teleute : I blush me dear, I bow and blow kisses :)

mandy : Term papers by themselves are a complete nightmare but these are the little joys of JUDE, teehee!! :D

jaded : You be very dear girl but I sincerely hope the loved one *never* gets to see it :D

ui : Well, spanish does originate in latin you know...and magnificent(??) I flutter and faint at the compliment :D

sphinx : Thank ye truly, kind sir :)

ron : hott he isn't actually, adorable/venerable he certainly *is*..but the silver in his hair is a dead turn on I promise you :D
Welcome btw and do keep visiting *anxiously sweet smile*

cassy : tong-yo-ue

pippy : a) get a sense of humour that is *not* obnoxious and go look up irony on wikipedia, once, at least
b)"nothing is an attention seeking plea on my part" is a tall claim from someone who finds allusions to himself everywhere. Get a life child, you're not important enough to be an influence on me, let alone be worthy of a mention on my blog post, *sheesh*
And while you're at it, get a dictionary will you? I fail to see how I've spelt *squeak* incorrectly.
I also wouldn't expect you to be very conversant with the English language but how is it you've never heard of the phrase peeping-tom??
Your school did such a brilliant job on these lovely writers, why is *your* english so screwed up?

12:37 AM  
Blogger karuna said...

madam please to be sending autograph...
no autographed picture.
plis. ;)

10:42 PM  
Blogger satchisgod said...

Dear wannabe blogstar (seems there are a wee too many of them these days)...I have to tell you that no self-respecting guy will want to wear a green (assuming bright) shirt. So I'm curious. But yes, women falling for the greens is understandable.
And if oak leaves, why not some weeping willows too?
Also, I so totally agree that flowers are girly things. A pal of mine wanted me to choose, order and send flowers to her better half on his b'day. Shey ki kelenkari kando!

5:40 AM  
Anonymous noel said...

Lucky professor! A beautiful girl sighing for him...I feel tempted to say, luck dog! No offense taken, I hope!
I am sure he is an absolute treat, enjoy!

10:30 AM  
Blogger babelfish said...

karuna : awww..so swit you is :D

satchisgod : OY! green yes, bright no!!! It was the most staid respectable green ever, all matte finish and beaootiful..sigh..he *did* look good in it...erm hehe, have quit being blogstar and am now terribly curious to hear the rest of your flower story :)

noel : erm, clarification on the beautiful part..*I* am not, and if you meant Rainbeau she doesn't sigh as much, I'm the only one who does a credble furnace impression :D

1:30 PM  
Blogger Lancelot said...

hey so sorry for not having commented, even though i did read this and the linked posts :D just that right after or midway through reading i would get this terrible guilt attack abt not studying and close mozilla!!!
post was great... can we have sequels or update sorta stuff on the situation??

12:17 PM  

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