Sunday, March 19, 2006

Traumatic things which should not happen to the b'fiss first thing in the morning.
The phone shouldn't ring.
If it does, it should not be the father.
And even it accidentally happens to be the father, the conversation should not start as follows.

bfiss : hello?
the father : yes, sugarplum.
*stunned silence*

*Moment of explanation. The father does not call me sugarplum. No one in their worst nightmares, or in my worst nightmares would dream of caling me sugarplum. Any man, woman or child thinking the words sugar plum and b'fiss in the same sentence would find themselves with a dislocated jaw and a decidely relocated friendship. Having said that it remains only to explain the obvious. That my uh father has umm embarrassing names for my erm mother. Ahem. Yes well. And since I will not reveal their little embarrassing secret names *which i discovered accidentally over the phone right now* I'm choosing sugarplum. Which is considerably less embarrassing than the actual names. Which should give you an idea of how mushy the parents are. And why I am perpetually one step away from dying of madness or diabetes. Or both. So, to return to phone conversation.*

the father, somewhat surprised at stunned silence, continues : hello? sugarplum?!
bfiss : na. babel here.

*embarrassed silence on the father's part*
**even more embarrassed silence on fissy's part**
***embarrassment having dropped in decides to camp out for a bit***

the father : oh, ahem. *embarrassed cough*
bfiss : yes *repeat action with ambarrassed cough*

the father : hehe. so. you sound the same as your mother.
bfiss : *dryly* yes
the father : could you umm give the mumble phone umm to su- er your mother?

Thereafter phone was conveyed to the mother. And I went and got an icepack.

Yes well. Bascally. The reason I shall never get married is this overwhelming, overflowing, perpetually gushy, practically adoloscent luurbh between the parents.
This dear reader is Love Fest 1976-2006.
I need a holiday.


Blogger Prerona said...

how sweet but!

1:05 PM  
Blogger Phõéníx said...

You officially have one of the best blogs around!...Top 10 according to a recent survey in the United States of Sandy. Your post will fit in nicely on the New Blab. :D

1:55 PM  
Blogger The Alluder of Alliterations said...

Love is all around me..
All it does is make me just wanna see
How insanity can conquer the world for free...

2:20 PM  
Blogger Rapid I Movement said...

Dry yawn
Seen worse...
and I'm more than convinced now that most Bong couples (not just women ie)...are utterly utterly nyaka.

8:26 PM  
Blogger erebus said...

reminds me of that famous "maybe they're just really great friends" Seinfeld routine.....

10:18 PM  
Blogger Dreamcatcher said...

Awwwwwww really sweet and they've been married what some 25 years or something?
Can make you feel like a bit of an intruder though.

11:05 PM  
Blogger "sen"sational said...

awww....and then again....AWWWWW!! cho chweet...sugarplum..

11:40 PM  
Blogger Soumik said...

and a lovely, lovely post.

11:50 PM  
Blogger Freaky Chakra said...

hehe... what an utterly wonderful way to wake up in the morning :)

12:44 AM  
Blogger Casablanca said...

Cho chweet!! I want a hubby who will call me sugarplum even after 20 years!! Pliss to inform if you find eligible ones, since you are not interested in marrying them ;)

11:19 AM  
Blogger Ron said...

awwwwwww!!!i am thinking it would have been more embarrassing for your father thank for you!! heh!

11:21 AM  
Blogger Pip Squeak said...

ha hah haa.

Sugarplum? That's worse than mollycoddles( anyone having read recent Harry Potter books should know what I'm talking about.)

casablanca: Men who generally use such nouns when referring to their wives especially after nigh forty years of marriage are resorting to disguised flattery. Looking for an excuse to go carolling through the streets shoulder to shoulder, hobnobbing with friends, drunk as they are. That's what most fathers do in college anyway....

rapid i movement: Couldn't agree with you more.

9:01 PM  
Blogger The Alluder of Alliterations said...

Hows tricks tootsie?

11:19 PM  
Blogger Pip Squeak said...

Babel, please be a sweetie and forgive whatever damage my alter ego has done. i fall to thine Feet!!!! Was just traversing the blogverse when i stumbled upon such atrocious comments. I must immediately lock up this menace! Henceforth, I shall restrain myself from engaging in such horrid activities and return to the peace treaty we formerly shared.

11:21 PM  
Blogger panu said...

at least your parents do not go for constant causticism... sometimes I wonder if I'm living with a person who has perpetual foot and mouth disease from putting his foot constantly in his mouth.

7:44 PM  
Blogger mojo said...

i fully sympathise while racking my brains trying to figure out what the actual names might be......what could be mushier than sugarplum?maybe i should be thinking in bangla!

10:07 PM  
Blogger hdpal said...

B-fish - Lets compare notes on this subject a couple of years down the road. I am sure you will have run into some dude who will be calling you sugarplum ( or something to that tune ).

1:47 AM  
Blogger babelfish said...

preronadi : sweet yes. embarrassing also. and definitely determining factor in why never to marry :D

phoenix : Incredibly kind of you to say so. Butbutbut, no amount of flattery is going to induce me to return to that forum thingy. I went and registered, hung around bleating like a lost lamb and then came away. Eeesh, it's impossible!!!

alluder : i completely heart-brokenly agree with ye :D

rapid i movement : bingo. bong=nyaka. it's twagic, the fact that I'm genetically cursed with nyakami for the rest of my life. Existential crisis of sorts :(

erebus : my parents make me wanna go yadda yadda yadda *all* the time!

dc : 30 freakin years. intruder mane, I just keep wishing I could exclude myself :D

"sen"sational : tui boddo sweet, noile bhebechhilam er por keu aww korle take dhore martam :D

soumik : *bashful grin* thankoo!

freaky chakra : hah! that's what you think, bally lovestruck romeo that you are. Me I'm a confirmed anti-romantic :D

casablanca : right on! I shall seek high and low for suitable man, starting tonight :)

ron : yes well, pretty pair of lobster look-alikes we would have made at that moment :D

alluder : tootsie?! tootsie?!! good grief, what a terrible way to address even your worst enemy!!!

pippy : there was no peace and certainly no treaty!!

panu : let's not even go there. causticism *if that be a word* is something I prefer anyday :D

mojo : bangla definitely! thik thak nyaka prem korte hole ek matro bangla bolte hoy :D

hdpal : give me a time limit and I'll hunt you down at the end of that time and show you the requisite notes. People have been telling me things along similar lines for the past eight years or so. I still get away without sugarplum, and fully intend to :D

3:02 AM  
Blogger Euphoric Dreamer said...

ye sugarplum !
Nice romantic *ahem* post !

4:04 PM  
Blogger babelfish said...

euphoric dreamer : hey long time no see! what's with the cough you've developed? tsk tsk, vicks ki goli lo!

10:42 PM  

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