Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The babelfish has a most grievous confession to make. It shames her and mortifies her to say this in a public blog accessible to vast millions who may never even choose to read it but she has wrested with her conscience, she has spent sleepless nights tossing and turning and turning and tossing unable to get these thoughts out of her head and bed and she has finally come to the conclusion that an open confession might be the best way out.

*of course when I say nights I actually mean one night, but let's not get too carried away with details here oggay...and when I say here, this rather hold for the rest of the post too....but, I digress and for once I shall try to cut a long story short and thou dear reader are most welcome to imagine for your gentle self a five page preamble with extra dollops of drama*

In short then, I have committed the unforgivable, the unfathomable, the unforgettable, the unforeseeable.

I have fallen with bone-splintering-rib-cracking-nose-fracturing-jaw-breaking intensity for someone.
And this is where I must clutch my breast and rend my hair and confess most shamefully that when I say someone I don't just mean someone I mean a political rival.
*the italics by the way indicate hushed tones...go back and read it again, this time drop your voice for the last two words...*
And you were wondering what the drama was all about.

*sigh*
*and sigh again*
Will my gentle reader excuse me while I indulge in some heavy-duty furnace style sighing...siiiiiiiigh!!!

I will not bore you with the when and where and whom, I shall only describe the epiphanic moment when I first realized this heart-stopping, horrific happening.

So, there I was, in a room full of very politically motivated gentlemen. There was just one other female in the room, which says a lot about the male female ratio in political outfits and never mind the occasional sonia/maneka/mamata/indira/jayalalitha/uma! *interesting innit how all their names end in a. nevermind.*

On the one side, there were the men from the engineering faculty, across the aisle were the men from the science faculty and bang in between were the arts faculty reps. And this man, this jaw-breaking-rib-crusher was speaking. And when I interrupted his beautifully worded very persuasive monologue in pure undiluted bangla he turned to me and rasped out, "wait, let me finish...".

And I almost swooned as I realized that this was the man I wanted to drag off into a dark alley for some heart-stoppingly strenuous moments. And ever since that moment, to be precise, 8.07 PM Monday, the 24th of April, my heart flutters at the thought of him and beats faster.
And to all the cynics who say this is only because he has threatened to cut me into ickle pieces and feed me to the fish in the ju-jheel I say
nahi!!

This then is the fish's confession. If she is, someday in the not-too-distant future found drownded on dry land it will because of this man for whom she feels such requited passion. Conversely if she is found guilty of indulging in acts reminiscent of Lucrezia Borgia...you heard it here first!

7 comments:

Bone said...

uh-oh, love seems to be rather too thickly in the jude air. even piscine creatures are getting stuck in it these days. time for trouble for the godforsaken singles... can they even breathe any more?

hdpal said...

Has the "sugarplum"..ing started or not ?

And i thought it would take a couple of years !!

March Hare said...

@mandy - na na ...they can't....they are almost choking from the saccharine sweetness pervading the air now-a-days...take it from me....

@b'fish - who is it?? who is it??? give us some hints...(except for the ones u have already given...i am too fat headed to figure out by those hints alone...)

Poorna Banerjee said...

OOOHHH.... OOOHHHH.... the agesake's finally gonna get a life...

Well... you know... wishful thinking and all.

Hope you'll get the back-alley dragged fellow and be happily never-after in your bowl of bedlam.

Abhijit Gupta said...

See, this is where subtlety gets you! Quick, publish a recantation.

Prerona said...

great post as usual. whats wrong with the template? i'm in cal. u there in cal too?

greatbong said...

So did you let him finish?