Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Various people at various points of time have asked members, honorary and otherwise, of JUDE what it is that they do all day in college. The answers, roughly summed up, are as follows :
  • *half-concerned shrug* "nothing"
  • *look of philosophical acceptance* "nothing"
  • *look of mortified realization* "nothing"
  • *vaguely embarrassed look* "nothing"
  • *blank look* "nothing" (this last one I find rather unnerving because it leads me to suspect that JUDE is slowly filling up with dull half-wits of all shapes and sizes)

Of course "nothing" often includes prem kora and panu kora or wait....the two are the same right? Ahem. Never mind.

And of course, there's sitting at Monida and doing "nothing". Monida, for those glorious millions fortunate enough to be ignorant of the existence of such a glorified place, is a canteen. In the glorious (not that I know what's so glorious about it anyway) tradition of canteens on campuses across calcutta it is named after the supposed glo-nevermind proprietor.
When I say supposed of course I may be erring on the side of caution but one does so like to get these little details right and anyone sitting at Monida's for long enough will get the distinct feeling that the place is actually owned by half a dozen dead flies, a few thousand dozen live fleas and a random assortment of dogs, male and female, perpetually horny and occasionally gay. Oh and by The Smell. And the crows. By Blind Io and the crows who ate his eyeballs, how could I have forgetten to mention the crows.
They fought the dogs and killed the cats,
And bit the babies in the cradles,
And ate the cheeses out of the vats,
And licked the soup from the cooks' own ladles...and well, substitute babies with innocent college-students and you've got the general idea.

This then is Monida's. A place we are all inordinately fond of. Why is not a question which should drift into the reader's mind at ths moment. The reader had best assume that the average JUDEan's love for Monida is all part of the Ineffable Plan. And in case you were wondering what the Ineffable Plan is, well, it's a bit like this you see, thereasonIcan'ttellyouwhattheIneffablePlanisisalsopartoftheIneffablePlan. Can I get on with the story now?
Oh. Except there is no story. Well, not as such. Just another random snippet from another random conversation on a random day at a random table at monida's :

babelfish (half mooney voice) : sigh. you know what, I just realized the other day he looks like a greek god.
cass (in her did-you-loan-your-brains-to-the-crows voice) : no. he doesn't.
bably (jolted out of her monida-ydreams) : b-b-bbutbut he does!
diva (in her why-did-I-ever-join-this-madhouse-I-wannawannawanna-go-back-to-delhi voice) : No!
babe(l) pouts
cass (trying to be sensible and turning out to be most condescending) : look. he's adorable but he looks like a teddy bear not an imitation apollo!
bably (small voice) : umm...what about one of the smallish greek gods, like herme-
diva : NO!
bably (barely audible voice) : but the whole look that he has...umm maybe a bit like zeu-
cass : NO!!!
babel : I shall sulk.

I'm still sulking by the way. Because whatever those disbelieving gits might say, he does look like a greek god. Does too.

And in case you're wondering who he is. Stop right there. I'm not about to tell you. So teehee to you too.


Blogger "sen"sational said...

is it ze god?? ze god is it???

9:16 PM  
Blogger babelfish said...

hehe. no it ziznt

10:36 PM  
Blogger Ancalagon The Black said...

well, i noticed that u had put me inside jooby? dooby? doo? I am honored. But, although, I can claim to be a member of the JU fraternity, I do not belong in JUDE, although, I possess the best JUDE t shirt ever, remember the gyan brikkher fall one; which my other JUDEan friends dont.... *evil laugh of triumph !!!!

11:33 PM  
Blogger Casablanca said...

I miss college canteens now. You have made me extremely nostalgic. *sniff sniff*

9:03 AM  
Blogger panu said...

I sincerely hope its not Sean Connery... Or IS IT??

anyway Manida's canteen also boasts of one other thing that you overlooked.... THE SUN!! THE FURIOUSLY BLINDING RAYS OF APOLLO!!

11:28 PM  
Blogger babelfish said...

analcagon : To be entirely honest, when I updated that link list I was under the impression you *were* in jude, and I wasn't entirely sure who you were! Since then my misplaced assumptions have been corrected but we've got quite a long list of honorary members of JUDE so by virtue of gyan briksher fall you shall remain with the other doobydoers :D

casa darling : shniff not my beauteous one, you now officially have a permanent-open-invite to any of our nineteen canteens anytime you should be in this part of the country!

panu : as I told the sensational baby, in a similar context, it ziznt! Monida however provides us with much shade and shelter, cribbing about Apollo in such a context is in really poor taste, tut tut!

1:21 AM  
Blogger monku said...

monida well described,jude-an's responses nicely put..
for a moment though i did think sean connery !hmm,arched eyebrow,who is he ??hehe..good good !and im sure he looks like greek god :)kintu ami c and d-ke-o khub trust kori,ekhon toh problem !!aww,nana nishchoyi greek god..

7:32 PM  
Blogger herenow said...

aah so much suspense but then leads to nothing!
u mean u..now ill whack my brain over it!(that is if i happen to posses one)

8:51 PM  
Blogger Ancalagon The Black said...

Indeed... I accept gracefully, you are not to blame, everyone else seems to think that I am from JUDE...

9:52 PM  
Blogger Ron said...

Not Sean Connery is it? Then it must be the man in your University...the professor you wanted to pick and croon to. What suspense I tell you.

5:05 PM  
Blogger Reshma Sanyal said...

Moni-babu's gravy chicken noodles. Yes yes yes, baby YES!

I sincerely hope this Greek god doesn't refer to any of the JUDE professors though :-/

10:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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11:28 AM  

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