this isn't a post. it's a whine. i'm feeling bad. no that's an understatement but I have absolutely no words to express how bad I'm feeling, so let's just leave it at, I'm feeling bad. For nicer brighter chirpier posts please come back a day or so later, if there isn't anything like a bright bably post up it means I'm dead.
This wasn't the whine. That comes now. What have I got to whine about, you ask. Hah, I say and hah again.

a) nobody loves me
b) I don't care even if people insist they love me because right now I feel totally unloved.
c) thank you world who insists that discrete portions of your animate population is deeply in love with me but I sincerely wish I was dead.

does any of that make sense? no.
is it supposed to make sense? no.
is there a point to this post. yes.

I feel like throwing up when I lie down, I feel sick when I'm not lying down, I'm hoping mindlessly typing away is going to make me feel a lot less ill. It's faintly working but now I'm too tired to type any more.

I'm generally feeling very sorry for myself. Tomorrow I'll probably feel guilty because there are lots of people who genuinely care and well the parents are sincerely worried and running from post to pillar and doctor to doctor and hoping I get well soon but right now, excuse me world while I go lie down, feel very sick and proceed to howl my eyes out in the general conviction that nobody loves me.

World. I hate you.

update : concerned or not so concerned professor messages to ask : are you still among the living?
damn it, wish I wasn't.
don't take this personally people but yes, I still hate the world.

GAH!