For as long as I've been a fish the most consoling thought I've ever had is that a goldfish has a three-second memory. Whenever I've woken up panting and sweating in the middle of the night unable to remember what the day was like, the memory of the little orange twit surfaces and I've generally gone back to sleep thinking blissfully happy thoughts along the lines of, hah suckers! I can remember what I was doing four seconds back.

Except now these blasted scientists have come up with the news that goldfish have a memory span of three months. Three effing months!
Holyfatherofallpiscinebeings.
Do I remember what happened in December, let alone what happened before that?!
Sigh. I tell you, it's no fun being a fish if even goldfish remember more than you.
Twits.