I have been accused of being cryptic!!! also incoherent, but primarily cryptic........this hurts, this really, really hurts because what I was aiming for was melodramatic.....but no!! My artistic soul remains unquenched in its thirst for recognition simply because people are too busy being curious about why my life is in tatters to stop and pay attention to all my dramatic poses.....sigh.........please note the italicized words are the bits which, if I was on stage and in a suitable flowing gown, I would be heaving my not noticable cleavage and declaiming amidst sighs.....
But I shall succumb to public demand.....and more importantly to the desire of any drama queen worth her tuppenny bit to tell all........and reveal the tales from the crypt.......well just one tale really, even as the public in question happens to be just one person.......
The blast from the past happened to be nothing more dramamtic or less juvenile than blackmail.....also in retrospect evil-male.......the phone that rang in the middle of the night boded no less than a spine-chilling malicious disembodied voice demanding the unthinkable........no I'm done being inane.....it was just this one son of a bachelor I used to know somewhere, sometime in the past and unfortunately happened to be fond of enough to leave discriminatory evidence all over the place (plis, be discreet and ask thou not what evidence I speak of, use that much famed imagination!!!) So anyway it was an ugly phone call. And although unable to scream I did manage to send this not-nice-mister-sob packing. And that's the background to all that blog-ranting last night.
To be very honest though, I wasn't specifically upset about the fact that this insignificant-diseased-microbium thought he could pull the fast one on me....I was dithering between sanity and not quite insanity because this one voice from the past made me realize that I have done much that I regret deeply. Perhaps I've on the whole come to terms with much of what I have done but there are these occasional moments when I find it hard to believe that I was ever so, so, so stupid and that I knew people like this, and what is worse, trusted them. There have been times when I have been a lousy judge of character and the remembrance of such things, though long past, can still make me cringe. This be summation of my confession.
But before I conclude I probably have two more things to say....and do not expect crude humour!!!
1.] Ignorance is temporary but in my case, incoherence is permanent........go back and read the first post and then go figure.......
and
2.]If the gentle reader of my blog plans to take everything I say seriously, my dear reader will have a very very nasty time.......This may be difficult for those who don't know me at all, but to simplify I had better just narrate a little story from today......this won't take long, pukka......I asked cass what she thought of my recent blog posts and all she said was, "you sound happy"........this be woman who knows me........there are days when I am upset and the hugs make me feel nice but on the whole, world please quit thinking I'm on this intensely emotional roller-coaster ride........I am, but I'm really enjoying it :D