Saturday, September 24, 2005

this is what my life has come to :

1) Barely Known Stranger : screeches car to a halt on seeing me, jumps out, asks for my number and then calls me up late at night to say "my girlfriend and I are having ego problems, what should I do?"

2) Very Distant Acquaintance : obtains number from elsewhere, calls and says it's a life or death situation! I rush to the rescue to discover what? Acquaintance has crush on someone, doesn't know how to reveal it and is afraid of becoming centre of gossip.

3) Little Better Known Acquaintance : has number already, calls up in wee hours of the night "my boyfriend has left me, I'm going to commit suicide!!!"

and I say
WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!
I seem to be the universal agony aunt and after years of experience I now have the perfect solution......all future applicants to agony aunt column will get the following reply
"It is the will of the Immortal Celestial Beings and the machinations of Fate that have led to your unceasing woes. The only solution to end your boyfriend/girlfriend problems is Dump Them!!!"

achha......if I'm the one providing solutions to other people's love lives why don't I have boyfriend problems?!!!! All I ever get is boring exam tension......which is a lot more depressing and has the minus point of bringing along tommy woes.....you'll never have a stomach upset when you're in the throes of love lorn agony but with exams around corner, tsk tsk.

Of course I also have random stranger problems, getting rid of jerks problems, trying to keep my sanity around insane people problems, crying my heart out over adorable professor who gave me only second highest in test problems, being unable to find enough strong cusswords for the sons of bachelors in this world problems........

sigh........what a life........and to top it all my pride is trying to kill me, my mind is trying to outwit it and kill me first, my body has declared it doesn't care either which way and my heart just wants me dead........it's a conspiracy against me by.....erm.......me.

14 comments:

Bee said...

ho-leee jesus!!hehe...what a day u seem to have had.remind me to tell u about funny play i saw at mmb.will definitely make u feel better.

Sphinx said...

you should make a hotline..

1600-888-call-a-fish!

Bone said...

have been through my own 'agony aunt' phase... you'll miss it when it'll be gone... it makes you feel like having so much grip on life (yours and others', obviously).

Anonymous said...

Ah, memories of Sophia and Madhulika daily drama with your shoulder being the one for Sophia's problems. I never had any patience for it. My sympathies to you.

Anonymous said...

so BKA probably wants to dump her and is interested in you
VDA could have a crush on you soon
LBKA. hmmm any chances?

coming after yer dream, is this the sign of impending male activity in your life? or is one just ignorant?:)

Unknown said...

beautiful blog!
Simply loved it!

La Figlia Che Piange said...

Lol

babelfish said...

cass : wannaplaywannahearplaywannawannaWANNA

sphinx : I'd get all the bongs in the universe calling for drop deliveries of ilish and chital :D

mandy : Alas!! It makes me feel like I have a grip on everyone's life except my own. But you're right, if the A-Aunt phase passes, it will feel weird :)

babelfish said...

ibboss : ooh boy!! I'd forgotten :D but then you never had patience for anyone except me...hehehe....ain't I modest :p

vague : hmmm...not a nice thought but you're probably right about the first two...as to the third, erm I rather think not!
And erm as to the question of male activity hemhem let's leave that aside for now shall we...first I need to undersatnd that dream, then I'll decide who it referred to :D

babelfish said...

someone somewhere : why, thank you! I shall assume you'll be back...yippeee!!! Finally I can dream of a readership in double figures :D:D

srin : you laugh at my agony??? if the you ever be in the need of the agony aunt the I shall the not be there!!!

Maru Marauder said...

You suggest that the way of getting rid of bf/gf problems is to ditch them? doest that create a whole new bunch of disgruntled ex's who want to ask ypu for advice and/or lyuch you?

Maru Marauder said...

correction-i meant lynch...DAMN that just spoiuls the entire effect....

Maru Marauder said...

AAAARGH!!!!!!!!!I MEANT SPOILS GODAMMIT!!!!!

babelfish said...

maru marauder : you poor dear, it's always terible when the punchline is destroyed by a typo :)
but I get your point about disgruntled ex-es...still getting lynched would be a new experience in everybody's book :D